For this review, I will be discussing Geraldine Walker’s argumentative essay entitled Dallas Homelessness. The essay’s primary aim is apparently to argue, in one way or another, an aspect in the issue of homelessness in Dallas. The article was divided into seven sections beginning with the introductory paragraphs, the body which defined what homeless meant and what caused it, as well as what could be done to address the problem, and finally, the conclusion section.
First, I would like to stress that the essay is engaging in its entirety because the issue or the topic that was discussed was relevant to the current times. We are in the midst of an economic recession that is why an essay about an increasing number of people without homes is most interesting for people because it is easy to identify. It engages interest because: 1) it presents a real case that can be attributed to the economic downturn; 2) The topic touches a sensitive spot as everyone must be feeling the economic crunch and, 3) it plays on the readers’ fear.
The essay presented several cases, figures and examples to illustrate the state of homelessness in Dallas and this is a good thing. Instead of writing in general terms most of the time and as a consequence the arguments appear vague and ambiguous, the essay went on citing specifics, which strengthened the main ideas that the author wanted to convey.
In regard to the references or the use of sources and how they were treated in terms of borrowing ideas, quoting and paraphrasing, among others, the capability shown was positively moderate. The in-text citations were sufficient in format and usage, except during times when the author fail to reference some information that are lifted from other sources. There should be some consistency in regard to format. For example, the first instance of citation should include author, year and page number (for books). The paper needs to be reviewed in this regard.
In addition, the source of important figures such as the population of the homeless in Dallas was not referenced. Statistics and those with specific data and figures must always be attributed to the source. So far, the sources identified in the essay were all used appropriately.
The weakness of the essay lies fundamentally in its entirety. The topic Homelessness in Dallas is too generic and doesn’t show any argument at all. Indeed, in the body of the essay and the establishment of the main thesis, there was no information or reference that points to the fact that the author is arguing for or against something. At best, the essay could be considered as a report or a narrative essay and not an argumentative essay, which persuades people to do something.
Then, there’s the issue on the structure of the paper. I think that this is the most problematic of all the sections and aspects that I have previously commented on. In my opinion, the essay has no logical flow. For example, when one reads the introductory paragraph, there are so many elements present. As a matter of fact, there are other information that need to be transferred to another section. This makes for an unreadable piece because the reader gets confused in the course of his or her reading of the paper.
I’d like to demonstrate the approach:
The first sentence was a backgrounder in the introductory paragraphs of the essay but the next sets of information talked about bare accommodation, definition of a homeless person, and so forth. Then, I was actually surprised to see that the objectives of the essay in page two of the piece. The term, “homeless” was also defined in the first paragraph and yet there is another section that did such feat: Who are the Homeless?
Grammar-wise, there were no mistakes in punctuation, spelling, etc. This detail is important in order for the paper to acquire substance and integrity.
What the author could do in order to further improve her piece is to focus on an aspect in the issue of homelessness in Dallas and present her opinion on the subject. There should be a strong argument and not merely statement of facts and situations. Secondly, the author could also rearrange the sequencing of her sections. For example, the section, Who Are the Homeless? must precede What causes homelessness. These particular details are necessary not just in the uninterrupted train of thought on the part of the reader so that he or she grasps the message that the author want to convey clearly. Rather, they would also achieve the objectives that were initially given.
Review: Cyber Crimes in America: A Look at Hackers, Malware and the Internet
Cyber Crimes in America – the subject of this review – was written by Sidney Williams for his argumentative essay requirement. The questions that the author sought to answer were in regard to computer security – is it safe? Then, he also raised questions whether hackers affect our lives; how surfing the internet could be dangerous to people and his position on how people must look for the quality of software that they use.
I find the topic cyber crime as a very interesting subject, particularly for a discussion. Perhaps I am talking in behalf of my generation and the next ones because we are already technology-savvy and any significant development or change in the IT and internet industries are engaging topics for us. So I say, the topic has a niche reader and that it is timely as well.
Some of the most important data presented by the author are those pertaining to malwares and the profile of hackers. There are significant details that I do not know of and so this makes this particular aspect truly informative and engaging for readers. As a whole, what I liked about the essay is its structure (it has its own Abstract section) and the degree of involvement of the author in what he was writing about. His writing approach is engaging that understanding the whole piece or at least part of it did become easier.
I was also pleased to see specific cases mentioned because this strengthened the evidences to the author’s claims and arguments. Besides this, there were personal narratives, which I could not figure out if they are positive or negative addition to the paper. What I am sure, though, is that such personal accounts diminish the credibility of the paper. The author must remember that he is writing a persuasive essay and not a personal reflection. If he offers opinion or his experiences, it should be corroborated by other sources. That is what I believe. Perhaps instead of using personal experience, he could conduct personal interviews from subjects in order to support the points that he wants to make.
I have some problem with the in-text referencing of the essay. To cite an example, the sections: Who are Hackers and What is Malware require sources. Surely, the information provided were taken from an authoritative source in information technology. However, in the referenced sections, the use and the formats were correct and appropriate and none from questionable origins.
Then, there is the issue of the content of the Conclusion section. I believe that what has been written in the essay is not appropriate. The reason is simple: the content written there was a new information and as a rule, no new data, information, facts should be introduced in the Conclusion section.
What I found rather disappointing from the essay or a factor that keeps it from being a really good piece of literature is that, on occasion an entirely irrelevant sentence would pop up in a paragraph – distracting the focus of the reader. It is utterly confusing. In addition, it seems like the essay is more of a report than an argumentative essay. The author did not root for a specific issue and instead launch an exploration of hacking and other security-related topics. As a result there is a very little opportunity wherein the author persuades its readers.
To continue, there are noticeable errors present in the essay. A lot of which appear to be typographical error. However, such error must be omitted or modified in a review done prior to the essay submission or publication. As it is, it characterizes mediocre work. So to avid this tag, one should be careful with this detail.
I also find the title rather misleading. Cyber Crimes in America: A look at hackers, Malware and the Internet, did not truly represent what the essay was all about. In a reading of the piece, I found that a good deal of discussion was devoted to hackers alone. There’s the issue about malware and bots but they were discussed in passing and that they are conspicuously absent in the essay analysis.
This essay is easy to improve. For one, it does not take a major change in order for it to be considered as an strictly argumentative essay. Secondly, the author must concentrate on only one issue in order to better present an argumentative case. With the current scenario, the thesis and the objectives were a bit vague, and as previously mentioned, misleading. Now, if, for some reason or another, this couldn’t be helped, then he could probably add some pictures to complement what was being discussed.